| Title: 4th Level
Posted: Tuesday, April 20, 2010 @ 4:03 AM |
♔ |
well satan, here i come! i'm going to go to the 4th level of hell!
for such a 'horrible' place you make it sound like a very nice department store if you ask me. anyway, the last question on the thing asked whether it was true some people deserve to die. which got me wondering.. do some people really deserve to die?
sure if they did something horrid, putrid, disgusting on all levels of morale, would they still deserve death? i once asked someone the exact same question and believed that the answer was true. they told me that that was a rather harsh way to think about it and told me instead of saying people deserve to die - they said that some people should just not exist at all, to reverse back and take away that person, to reverse all that before the sperm entered the.. ovary? (OH YEAH. before i forget, my posts can sometimes be extremely long and winding and not well thought out. and yeah they're getting a bit frequent if i do say so myself. but then again i guess it's better than nothing at all~)
ANYWAY back to my little memory. I asked said person (who is now CL) if that person had children would it mean that the child would dissapear and CL said that wherever the souls of kids came from there was like.. an inventory of them. a set list, that the child would come in order no matter what happened.
so i guess thats what i believe now. CL's little theory. that sometimes it's better if someone never existed at all and that babies souls' come like an assembly line and wait for the next body to merge into.
yeah thats right. welcome to the assembly line of life.
anyway today was first day of school! i came to school at 10:30 though because i had an ortho appointment. what makes me wonder though is the memory of some people. the orthodontist there remembered my name and asked if i was alright because i was a bit distracted this morning.
also i flippin' hate elastics for teeth. took me a good fifteen minutes to put on my top hook and i have to do this TWICE every morning and night. wonderful ain't it?
since traffic was bad and dad needed to go to work he dropped me off at kogarah station. well not really drop off but he told me to catch the train because he was late for work and zoomed off.
then it hit me. yes thats right a bus hit me and i'm typing this from the 4th level of hell- no. i realised i had no money. zilch. this holiday my parents didnt give me any money when i went out so i was completely broke. freaking station had barriers too.
i called my dad to see if he would come back and give me money. no answer. wonderful isn't it? there were 5 guards and a few barrier machines. i knew i couldn't possibly escape this.
i mean sure as a kid i though since i didnt have a seatbelt on i was going to go to jail the rest of my life. thats why when a police officer knocked on the door when i was 7 i was scared shitless that that was going to be the last time i was ever going to see my family.
anyway. i thought at the moment 'fuck my pride or whatevers left of it' and started crying.
sure half of them were fake, but half of them were real because i was scared that i was going to be left here forever and that i was going to die because my parents purposely left me or something. and in the end they let me through.
stupid i know. i know im freaking stupid sometimes but her. i had no money. nothing, my entire wallet was coinless, noteless, hell i was going to offer some kind of credit note for some store or something!
so that was my sucky ass morning.
hummm. well.. now that i'm thinking about it my brother swears a lot. a lot more than me anyway. and i guess it's rubbing off on me. but anyway on another note since i've been nice to him he's showing some respect for me. he even offered me a massage man! and let me play on his wii.
which i declined. to both of them.
the next post will probably be very long as well. i just find myself typing long posts a lot. makes life more interesting in a way.
oh! and thankyou amy for the jeans and the clothes
