Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people.

Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.

Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

Day Seven: Four turn offs.

Day Eight: Three turn ons.

Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.

Day Ten: One confession

I get lonely sometimes.

HAHA. wouldnt it be funny if i ended it right there. everyone gets lonely sometimes! its natural. its just when you're on the way home thinking 'my life is pretty great right now. i have great friends. i'm doing fine in school. i have enough money. its pretty good at the moment'

and then you reach home.

to a large, spacious dark house with no one inside. kinda scary really o_O can't even see anything inside once its dark. but it's lonely there. no one comes home til 6 or 7 and even then we don't spend a lot of time together.

to be honest, sometimes it's really nice having a few hours by myself and all that, but there are times when i'll be alone for the entire day and sometimes more. and you can't help but feel lonely.. and occasionally forgotten.

its a strange feeling really, being alone. it used to feel reaaaaally bad. the first time i was left by myself for a day i cried a lot. im scared of the dark and all so that doesnt really help. but do you remember reading all those stories about those kids who stayed by themselves until someone rescued them? i kinda felt like them. except only temporarily. i don't think i could live too well by myself. i'd probably be all depressed and all that. I NEED HUMAN CONTACT.

what sucks is that i didnt even bother going on msn. i probably SHOULD have, and talked to someone so i wasn't completely alone, but i didnt. i'm an idiot aren't i? but now it's okay! when i'm left by myself i'm fine. i think partially why i'm like this is because i imagined as a kid that if my parents had to choose between me and my brother to send away, it would be me.

don't you ALWAYS have those thoughts as a kid though? i for sure did o_o my brother went through a phase of thinking he was adopted. but i figured that i would get shipped off if something were to happen.

i still have strange childish fears. i fear the dark, but my biggest fear is being replaced or abandoned. don't know why, it just is. i was absolutely scared shitless when i was dropped off at some station after my dentist appointment with no money.

it was probably due to the moment, but i really thought my parents got sick of me, dumped me at a station with a school bag and no money. oh. and there were BARRIERS. AND GUARDS.

FREAKING HELL. i swear there was money in my wallet before. at least 2 dollars in change.

anyway, i fear that stuff. it's kind of weird.

ANYWAYYY. so much for sentimental. that.. was kinda sentimental? anyway just tell me if you have any strange fears that you also had when you were a kid!

sorry this is posted so late. i was meant to do it on... monday. i just left it in drafts for ages.